A World Without IPOs

I’m sensing that, in the not-too-distant future, large corporations in Silicon Valley will be facing a new form of investing. Cameras will be present. Developers, marketers, and everyone in between will parade through a room in an orderly fashion. Each person represents an idea, be it their own or that of the company that employs them. They have three minutes to deliver their idea to a board of super-wealthy CEOs.

Richard Branson, British and stuffy, will berate each and every one of them, earning him the nickname Dick. Larry Ellison will appear drunk but only for fleeting moments. And Steve Ballmer, wearing dark sunglasses and a flowery shirt, will assure every presenter that they’ve done “a good job, dawg. Really. I feel you.”
In the end, one company’s idea will be chosen as the Next Big Thing, and the idea will be auctioned on eBay with a reserve price of $100 million.
The show will be sponsored by Pepsi and Snickers. It will have a theme song by 50 Cent. It will be called “Elevator Pitch.”